The Ex’s poem


It’s not okay to walk away, to turn your back or change your lane
It’s not okay to quit today, from all the hopes I brewed to stay
It’s not enough to wish for more, like I’m a plague or scar or pore
It’s not enough to say goodbye to what we have, I’ll tell you why

Like fertile seeds in sandy loam, I bid my time and sat in wait
While the rains fell, the shrubs grew, the sun bit, I dared not agitate
Just be your best and trust in Him, the old ones said and I obeyed
The special one will come as due, all other friends they even forbade

It’s been six years since you arrived with holy clothes and honey claims
I’d always wanted Bill or Jim, so when you came as Craig, I prayed
A misstep will burn, I had said. So, old ones’ God, what do you say?
He gave no words, I must admit, but silence is consent, we often claimed

It’s been six years since I first knew; I’d lived in wait and not in faith
At no time had I learnt what to do, to please a man or make his day
I cooked too much and laughed too little, I worried more and honored less
I thought too loud and never heard the sobs you gave over my mess

I never meant to make you hurt and that, with this plea, I bid you see
Now I file my nails and clean my ears, I joined a club and read at dawn
I wear a watch and smile at kids, I speak your language, at least a word or two
I now can teach on how to love a man, to knot his tie and lace his shoes

But now my youth is almost gone, I spent it waiting for, with and on you
My childhood was rough and lonesome too, and with you it wasn’t really new
Yet I’m a better person as you now see, my life has changed but my standards too
So it’s not okay for you to walk away. You were never my special one so I plan to.

Sanmi Abiodun – 2016

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