Kuku kee me!

Parenting requires patience!!!


Personality also plays a huge role in parenting! Sometimes the littlest things could aggravate you because kids only act or react within the limits of their knowledge which could be really limited, by the way. Your desire to consistently be a cool dad for instance, will be tested so frequently and it sometimes take lots of discipline not to end up in jail for murder.

It is amazing how the same kids who are so adorable one minute could be so annoying the next. I have seen mothers in public places use their entire 79 kilograms of body weight to give two year olds slaps across their body. I have seen some shout thousands of decibels into their kids ears and curse and kick and smack and shove the children around.

While these are neither general practice nor forgivable actions, toddlers sometimes do things that get their parents on the edge. The personality of the parent then kicks in to steer the ship of reactions.

I got home so tired last night and same with OJ, my wife who had a rather long day. We all ended up in church and came home in the same vehicle. The came the first test: after people had left church and it was so dark in the car park, my beautiful 4 year old decided to run out of the park into the darkness and chant “I don’t want to go home”. My bellowing “Come back here”, “why won’t you want to go home?”, “everywhere is dark! Come!” quickly turned to “where are you?” and “stop this” just before “God, please help!”  We found her, shoved her in the car and set to go home when she gave a long windy cry of how she wanted to come down to play. I couldn’t even can. I sped off.

The second test came when her eyes were dry. Both kids decided to stand on the backseat while we were on the drive, not minding that we were on a Nigerian road with a melodious topography. They fell a few times, hit their heads on the doors, on each other, on the seats, but still refused to sit still. Eventually we brought the car to a halt, buckled one in the car seat, ignoring the yells and scratches that accompanied her protests. Safety over happiness. The other child complied thereafter and we had a safer drive home. Then they both slept.

The third test came when we got home, dragged ourselves to clear the car, carry their combined almost 40 kilograms to bed, clean the messes made so far and fall into bed. As we revved the engine into the first gear, the first sound of “Mama” came. We had been unmindful that the drive home and the time spent before we got into bed had been enough time for Audrey to have a full sleep episode, refuelled for the next session of activity.

“Please, go back to sleep”


“Go and lie down on your bed now”


“Okay, what is the matter?”

“I want to eat!”

“Whaaaaaat? At this time? (Peeps at a time piece) This is 2:19am!!! Please lie down quietly and sleep. You can lie down beside me”

(Insert loud annoying soul manipulating cry)

“Okay, go and take bread and sit on your chair”

“No. I want fried rice and sausage with chicken and dodo. And I want it in my pink plate. I will use a green fork”

Dear readers, thank God we don’t look like what we go through. I am grateful to be alive. You should be too.

NB: Just in case you need an adorable 2 year old to rent for a couple of hours or days, kindly apply within.

NB2: The facts may have been skewed a bit as seasoning.

One Comment Add yours

  1. I couldn’t stop laughing….God is your muscle!

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