Retrospect and reflection are two words in English language, the usage of which I enjoy. And thankfully, they are the reason I sit on this mattress at 3:05 am, putting finger to keypad to produce what you now read.
It’s been over 730 days since I last put pen to paper for a decent writing, the reason; none and motivation; nill. However, the thirst for consistent improvement disallows mefrom sulking over it. Rather I “press toward the mark”. And since writing this piece is something that so matters to me, I might as well write about something else that so matters to me: “The person I wish to never leave”.
My life, short so far has unfortunately been characterized by influx and exit of many gems, some of whom I wish I had not met at all yet and others I hope to meet again. None however can I say has become permanently resident in Sanmi Abiodun’s “Book of life”. Without shifting blames or taking responsibility for the exits, I make bold to say that at one point or the other, many of those people mattered to me, so much so that I never envisioned their exit. Chief of these which I remember with teary eyes, was someone I fondly called “Olaitan mi”, who once looked me in the eye after bouts of “that guy used to be very close to me” and “this girl used to be my best friend”, said by me about different people at different times. Olaitan mi said, “Sanmi I never want to just be a part of your history or someone else you used to be close to”. Sadly so, she attained that abhorred status barely three months after.
Reminiscing however, I do not consider myself one of the best friends or people on earths surface, but I do realize and often too, that I am a highly emotional being, churning out kilotonnes of love and affection to friends and friend’s friends alike, as often as I can. If truly I possessed such a huge reserve at all is a topic for another day. And if I receive at least a tithe of that affection in return is another topic entirely which sadly may never arise on this blog. What you need know however is that I love to love.
Like I learnt however at the meeting of the Eagle Toastmasters Club which I attended last saturday, it is imperative every now and then that we pause, reflect and “get back on board”. Adhering to that, this piece is intended to discuss the person I never wish to part ways with and not the persons I have parted ways with.
Getting back on board, more often that not, I have selected my friends and acquitances myself, ofcourse with adequate consideration of circumstances, proximity and similar indices. This particular person however directly or otherwise departs from the norm: A mutual selection. Back in my third year as an undergraduate, I met a young distraught lady and in the course of counselling, I discovered that one of her major aches came from her lack of good friends. After inquiring on who she would like to have as a friend in her class, she named another girl. I asked her to name a second person. She came up with none. Two years later, in my final year as an undergraduate, my flair for counselling attracted another weary young lady to me and after a session with her, I discovered she also could really use a good friend, so I asked again “Who would you really want to have as a friend?” She named the same person the first lady named 2 years before. I once again asked for a second option of who she considered a friend. She came up with none. At that instant moment, my destiny of becoming best of friends with the said “friend” was sealed. Need I say however that I ensured that both ladies became friends with the “friend” as well.
Omobonike in my opinion should be included in the English Thesaurus as one of the synonyms for the word “friend”. She epitomizes dauntless sincerity, selflessness, honesty, truth and dignity. Whether these are premised on a bouquet of experiences and lessons learnt, or divine construction as an friend, I can not tell. The end discovery of the past 6 years of my personal observation however has been a lady clad with multiple values, virtues and divine endowments. How one human engages selflessly in aiding the growth and development of other people, has time and again totally beaten my comprehension. What I am confident about is that Omobonike does it for neither personal aggrandisement nor material gain. And that I must say has toppled my list on the Laws of Attraction.
Two years of intimate rapport and personal experience with Omobonike has taught me several lessons and I enumerate:
1: Never shut the door of a relationship until you are sure you will never need to walk through it again. And you can never be sure.
2. The good and evil that men do will not only live after them, but may become all they are associated with.
3. A friend today may either turn out to be a dangerous foe or a better friend. But the fear of the dangerous is no reason not to keep a friend today
4. Loving those that love us is no task. Loving those that don’t, is love.
5. We meet to part and we part to meet, but the fact that a song will end in 3 or 4 minutes is not enough reason not to enjoy the music. Give your best irrespective.
Having said these, I take a quick scan of my relationships and acquaintanceships over the last decade and I realize that many of the friendships I have had, I never deserved. And while I hope never to lose the one friendship with Omobonike that I hold so dear now, I resolve to take a drive into yesterday and grab hold of some of the friendships I never considered vital.
You may want to do the same!